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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297851">The Year After</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire'>Angelwithwingsoffire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hawaii Five-0 (2010)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Canon, Series Finale, finale fix-it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:01:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten scenes depicting the year after Steve left Danny alone on that beach, and how they both recovered from all that had happened.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>188</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was just supposed to be a baby ficlet based on the song "Austin" by Blake Shelton and then it got a little angstier. Oops?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“What exactly is it that you’re looking for?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Peace.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Look, it was my father who brought me back here and then kept me here. I mean, he’s the reason I stayed here. I just had to figure out what it was he was investigating. And then I- then I learned that he actually knew my mother was still alive and…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“So now what? You gonna walk the earth like the dude from kung fu searching for answers.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Something like that. It’s gonna be okay man, you know that right?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay. It feels like my main dude is leaving me. That’s what’s happening.””</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s not goodbye forever.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It better not be a forever goodbye. Why would you say that?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You got a phone right?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hey, I love you man.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you too.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t make me come looking for you.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Danny groaned, forcing his eyes open. He should have known it was going to be a shit night for sleep, but he didn’t expect his brain to force him to relive that moment so many times so soon after it happened. Then again, his luck never was that good.</p>
<p>He stared up at the ceiling, well acquainted with the chipping paint and the off-white color of this room. Since being shot he’d spent more time than he’d ever wanted to laying in this bed, laying here and trying, and failing, not to think about what happened. He got kidnapped because Daiyu Mei wanted something from Steve, and he’d almost died before Steve got to him. Danny wasn’t an idiot, he saw the comparison to the events that brought Steve back to Hawai’i in the first place. Losing his dad because he didn’t keep Anton alive, and then almost losing Danny because, in Steve’s eyes, he wasn’t fast enough. He could assume the turmoil that caused Steve, but he was still hurt, angry, and fucking upset that his partner had decided to leave instead of letting Danny help him.</p>
<p>“Danny?” He heard Junior call softly through the door. “Are you awake?”</p>
<p>“Yea.” Danny sighed. “Come on in Junior.”</p>
<p>Hearing his orders, Junior walked in with a cup of water in hand.</p>
<p>“Like fucking clockwork.” Danny sighed. “I hate this.”</p>
<p>“Sorry.” Junior winced.</p>
<p>“It’s not your fault.” Danny rolled his eyes. “I just hate my pain is so shitty you’re setting a clock by it now.”</p>
<p>“Every four hours.” Junior shrugged. “The doctor’s said it wouldn’t be good for a couple weeks.”</p>
<p>“Help me up.” Danny groaned.</p>
<p>Junior set the water on the nightstand, quickly helping Danny sit up, leaning back against the pillows. They both winced, Danny as it hurt and Junior because he was still highly uncomfortable with the sight of Danny in pain. Finally, with a gasp, Danny got settled and raised his hand.</p>
<p>“Let’s just get it done Junior.” Danny sighed.</p>
<p>Junior grabbed the bottle of medication on the table, passing Danny his pill, giving him a moment to toss it back, and then handing him the glass of water.</p>
<p>Danny drank the water, washing the pill down, with a grimace at the taste, and finished the glass to wash the bitterness away with a wince. When he was done, he handed it back to Junior and winced as it pulled at his chest. “I presume you’ll set the timer?”</p>
<p>Junior nodded. “Steve told me you’re bad at remembering the passing of time.”</p>
<p>“So you said.” Danny rolled his eyes. “You know you don’t have to help me just because he told you to, right?”</p>
<p>“I want to help.” Junior told him, just as he had every time Danny asked him about it. Looking at Danny, he didn’t have any faith that the man would actually take care of himself with Steve gone. He was the one that had to go out and talk Danny into coming inside after Steve had left. He still hadn’t talked about that day on the beach, but Junior would have to be blind to miss the way Danny had gotten worse without Steve here. It’s like his hope was gone and so was his desire to heal.</p>
<p>“Then go make breakfast while I haul myself out of this damn bed.” Danny told him, knowing he wasn’t going to convince Junior to leave him completely alone. He knew the kid was worried, but Danny didn’t know how to convince him not to be.</p>
<p>“You got it.” Junior nodded, heading out. “What are you in the mood for?”</p>
<p>“Eggs are fine Junior. You know I’m not hungry after those meds.” Danny tried to smile, but he knows it looked more like a grimace. It wasn’t convincing, but Danny was relieved as Junior nodded again, leaving Danny alone with his thoughts again.</p>
<p>He knew he should get up, get dressed for the day, and face the pain of living in his best friend’s house when that said is friend is traipsing across the world with his ex-maybe-not-ex-anymore. But no matter what was happening, when members of the team came to visit or he got a call from Grace to check on him or he got to spend time with Charlie, he couldn’t stop his mind from repeating the words Steve had said to him on the beach. He came to this island for his dad, and apparently only stayed to solve the case. Danny had spent the last ten years thinking the two of them became important to each other, that they’d become family and Steve understood just how true it was when Danny told Steve that he loved him. But apparently not if Steve was perfectly okay with leaving everything they had behind him a week after Danny almost died. He also knew he was supposed to know that Catherine was with him, certainly no one had actually told him, but he’d overheard Lincoln telling Junior that he’d arranged for them to fly out together. Said he wanted Steve to get at least one happy ending.</p>
<p>Danny groaned. He didn’t want to think about the two of them and ‘happy endings’ between them. He’d done enough of that in years past. He just wanted to move on. He wanted to forget all the things happening in his heart. He <em>needed</em> to forget. Or he didn’t think it would ever stop hurting. And he wasn’t just talking about the pain in his shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Steve? Have you listened to anything I’ve said?”</p>
<p>Steve looked up, seeing Catherine standing in front of him. “Uh…no?”</p>
<p>Catherine sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Steve. Really?”</p>
<p>“Sorry?” Steve shrugged.</p>
<p>Catherine huffed, sitting down on the bed in front of Steve. “Steve. Talk to me. Please.”</p>
<p>“What do you want me to say?” Steve asked, getting defensive. He say up straighter on his own bed, always on guard. “I got distracted.”</p>
<p>“That seems to be happening more and more lately.” Catherine pointed out. “So are you going to talk to me or not?”</p>
<p>“Catherine, I didn’t ask you to come with me.” Steve reminded her, voice sharp. “You joined me on that plane, you’ve followed me around since we landed, and I’m sure you expected things to be different but it’s <em>not happening</em> Catherine.”</p>
<p>Catherine looked down at her hands. “When Lincoln called me, the second time to tell me you were leaving Hawai’i, he told me what you’d said about me.”</p>
<p>“What?” Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion.</p>
<p>“He told me you called me ‘the one that got away’.” Catherine sighed. “Can you really blame me for thinking things would be different when I met you on that plane?”</p>
<p>Steve shook his head. “He shouldn’t have told you that.”</p>
<p>“Why because you’re still scared of emotions?” Catherine asked. She’d always been good at reading Steve, and knowing exactly what to say to get through the armor he’d encased his heart with.</p>
<p>“Because it wasn’t how I actually felt.” Steve spat out. He looked away from Catherine’s stare, now wanting to see what his words did. “Catherine, I thought you were the love of my life. I was planning to propose to you, and <em>you knew</em>, and you still left me. I loved you, I trusted you, and I believed in you. But you walked out on any chance we could have had at a future together. You lied to me. Told me you were going to Nepal to help people when in truth you were working for the same people that got my mother killed.”</p>
<p>“I told you I wanted to help people.” Catherine whispered.</p>
<p>“Helping people and working for the CIA are two very different things.” Steve scoffed. “And you may have been the one who got away when I watched you leave me on my own front porch, but I got over it. I got over you. It took me <em>years</em> to get there, but I did. And yea, maybe a part of me will always wonder what if. What if I had managed to ask you before you took that job? What if I had been able to convince you to stay? But I didn’t. And you left. You walked out on any chance we had to be something more than what we were. You <em>were</em> the one that got away, yes. But you aren’t that person anymore. And I’m not the same guy that let you get away.”</p>
<p>Steve fell silent, staring back at Catherine, determination in his eyes. He’d spent a long time mourning what he and Catherine had, all those years ago, but he’d grown past it. He wasn’t going back now. There was no turning back the clock.</p>
<p>“Steve…” Catherine sighed. “You know I never meant to hurt you. It hurt me just as much as you to get in the car that day.”</p>
<p>“If it hurt you as much as it hurt me, you wouldn’t have gotten in the car.” Steve shook his head. “What did you expect when you met me on the plane? Us to get back together? Travel around, fall back in love, and go back to the islands and live happily ever after?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what I expected.” Catherine admitted with a sigh. “I-I thought you’d at least talk to me about whatever it is going on in your head. You used to tell me everything, and let me help you figure things out.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Steve agreed. “I used to.”</p>
<p>Catherine ducked her head, hearing the not-so-subtle insult that it was. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I really am.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Steve sighed. “But I don’t think that really changes anything.”</p>
<p>Catherine sighed. “I guess I should have guessed as such when you insisted on two beds at every hotel we stopped at.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going back to what we were.” Steve told her. “I can’t.”</p>
<p>“So what now?” Catherine asked.</p>
<p>“We’ve got this hotel room for three more nights.” Steve shrugged. “You may as well stay, seeing as it was partly your money that paid for it. We can go to that diner you liked, explore Portland, whatever you want.”</p>
<p>“And then we part ways?” Catherine could tell where this was going.</p>
<p>“I think it’s for the best.” Steve nodded. “I left O’ahu to find myself. I can’t do that with someone else along for the ride.”</p>
<p>“Where will you go?”</p>
<p>Steve thought about it for a moment, and then smiled. “I’ve always wanted to see Peru.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If any of you need my help, you know where to find me.” Danny’s voice was soft, and with that declaration, he tightened his grip on his cane and headed for his office.</p>
<p>The team watched in silence as he left them surrounding the computer table They’d try to convince him to take over Steve’s office, seeing as he was now in charge, but Danny had simply refused to move out of his space. He’d claimed it was because he finally had the place the way he wanted, but the team knew better than that. Him taking over the biggest office would have simply been one more sign that Steve wasn’t coming back.</p>
<p>“How’s he doing?” Tani whispered, looking at Junior.</p>
<p>The former SEAL shrugged, looking down at the table between them. “He’s not doing good, I know that much, but he won’t really talk to me about any of it.”</p>
<p>“Have you tried?” Quinn asked.</p>
<p>“Have I tried?” Junior repeated. “You think I haven’t tried to get him to talk to me about the fact that I know he isn’t sleeping, that I know his leg and shoulder and chest still hurt, that he misses Steve so much I’m sure it hurts? He doesn’t want to talk about it, so he won’t.”</p>
<p>Tani sighed, glancing over at Danny’s office. “I was honestly surprised he came back here.”</p>
<p>“This is his life.” Junior shrugged. “The foundation for everything he has on this island. I don’t think he knew what to do with himself if he didn’t come back here.”</p>
<p>“It has to hurt though, being here when Steve isn’t.” Quinn whispered. She hadn’t been around as long as the others, but she knew how much the two bosses meant to each other. One not being here was weird.</p>
<p>“I think being without him at home is worse.” Junior admitted. “Eddie helps him, pulls him out of his head when he gets in too deep, but it’s not good.”</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Adam asked, coming into the team’s space.</p>
<p>“We’re talking about being worried about Danny.” Tani informed him.</p>
<p>“Ah.” Adam nodded. “Yes I suppose so.”</p>
<p>“You’re not worried?” Quinn asked.</p>
<p>Adam shrugged. “I’ve seen the two of them go through a lot over the years. No matter what the world seems to throw at them, they always found each other in the end, but I don’t think either of them ever really understood what their connection was.”</p>
<p>“You mean neither of them knows they’re in love with the other?” Tani asked, unable to believe it.</p>
<p>“I can’t say for sure, but they’ve never acted like it.” Adam told them. “They’ve always been closer to each other than others, but they’ve never seemed to cross that line.”</p>
<p>“And now Steve’s taken off on an eat, pray, love journey around the world and none of us know when he’ll ever come back and Danny’s left here, alone again.” Quinn sighed.</p>
<p>“I don’t think he’s as oblivious anymore though.” Junior whispered, glancing up at Danny’s office.</p>
<p>“You think?” Adam asked.</p>
<p>Junior nodded. “You haven’t seen the look on his eyes when he sees the things Steve left behind. He’s left everything the way it was the day Steve left, besides moving a few things around so he could live comfortably. It’s like he’s just waiting for Steve to come home, that he’ll be on the next flight to land and everything will go back to the way it was.”</p>
<p>“The way it was denying what could be though?” Tani asked.</p>
<p>Junior shrugged. “It’s what is known, and that lends some safety. I think he knows what’s in his heart, and I think that’s making it even worse for him because it leads to all the what if’s and what could have beens.”</p>
<p>“Yea he isn’t just getting over his best friend now.” Tani agreed. “He’s getting over the guy he <em>loves</em>.”</p>
<p>“And we know how bad that can be.” Quinn laughed, nudging an elbow into Tani’s side.</p>
<p>“Oh boy do I know.” Tani chuckled.</p>
<p>“So what do we do?” Junior asked, looking at Adam. “Is there anything?”</p>
<p>“Not really.” Adam shook his head. “We just have to be here for him, and be available if he does decide he wants to talk about it. In what I’ve seen of Danny, I don’t think he ever will want to talk about it, but someday he may get to the point where he feels like he doesn’t have a choice. He’s not as emotionally stunted as Steve always was. He knows what’s happening, but it’s going to take him a while to accept it.”</p>
<p>“It’s been three months though.” Quinn pointed out. “How long could he possibly need?”</p>
<p>“It took them years to fall in love.” Adam shrugged. “And I wish it was otherwise, but I think it’s going to be a while longer before Steve comes back to the islands. He’s seen a lot of things in the last ten years, and lost a lot of the people he considered family. He needs to process everything, and that’s going to take longer than I think any of us want to be without him.”</p>
<p>The three younger members of the team sighed.</p>
<p>“You really think he’ll come back after that long?” Quinn asked.</p>
<p>“There’s one thing that every member of Five-0 I’ve ever met has had in common.” Adam told them. “No matter when they joined, how long they were with us, or why they left. They’ve all had one thing.”</p>
<p>“What?” Junior asked. He’d idolized Steve before he met the man, and he’d been in awe of the team members he’d gotten to meet. To hear they all had something in common made him curious to know what it was.</p>
<p>“They’ve all had massive hearts.” Adam told him. He smiled, thinking about the member of the original team that still held a piece of his own heart. They’d parted ways, and he regretted what led to it, but he still loved what they had. “Every member of this team, since the beginning when Steve started it, has had so much love in them that they faced enemies other people wouldn’t have dreamed of to protect each other. In ten years they’ve taken down some of the worst people in the world, with the only goal being to protect the people they love. And that heart is what called everybody to this team in the first place, and convinced Steve to hire us all. He saw that in every single one of us, and I saw it all the time in him. The things he did to help Danny, and the rest of his ohana, in and out of work. It may take him a while to get comfortable in his own skin again, but I don’t think there’s any doubt that he’ll come home after that. He’ll always return to Danny’s side, if nothing else.”</p>
<p>The team turned, looking over at Danny, sitting in his office, staring intently at his computer. He looked just as tired as the day he was released from the hospital, meaning he looked better than he did the day Steve left them all behind him. But they could still see the pain in him, yearning for someone that wasn’t coming back, at least not anytime soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here’s your food.”</p>
<p>Steve looked up, smiling kindly at his waitress, who was kind enough to serve him despite not being in her section purely because she was the only one who spoke English. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>She smiled back, leaving his plate of food and heading away.</p>
<p>Steve grabbed his silverware, looking around as he tucked into his food. He’d ended up in Paris basically on accident, because he was supposed to get on a flight to Madrid, but had ended up giving his seat to a woman needing to get back for a funeral. It had been a day before the next Madrid flight, but the airline had been happy to put him on a different one. And while it wasn’t his choice, he was enjoying the sights and people while it lasted.</p>
<p>He had travelled the world in the Navy, flying into more places than most getting put on mission after mission, but he’d never had the opportunity to actually enjoy the places he saw. Now, on his own, he had all the time he wanted to try out small cafés, watch people go about their daily lives, and be as much of a tourist as he wanted to be. He got to go to Peru, spending over two weeks in the jungle, hiking to see Machu Picchu, and enjoying the freedom of being truly alone for the first time in years. Then he’d hoped on a plane, the first plane with an empty seat, and taken off for Asia. He’d ended up spending a month in Japan, seeing Tokyo as a tourist instead of as a member of the military. It had been a great change of pace, but then he’d wanted someplace new, someplace he’d never been. So off to Madrid had been the choice, but Paris was a good second choice. He’d never been here, only in the south of France for one mission, so it was still new and different. Boy was Paris different. He had always wanted to see Paris, go to the museums and the cathedrals. Even the Eiffel tower, for all that it was a cliché. He got to see the world, and the types of people he’d spent the last ten years, and all the years in the Navy before that, working to protect. The regular people, going about their days, or visiting a new place with awe clear on the faces. These were the people he’d worked so hard to protect. And now, here they are, and he’s one of them now. Just a faceless person in the crowd. Another one of the mass. It’s a relief, but…it’s also exceptionally lonely.</p>
<p>Any time Steve had dreamed of traveling, he was never doing it alone. He always had someone with him. Almost always it was the same someone. The person who had been at his side for ten long, hard years. The person he left behind.</p>
<p>Not for the first time since he’d left Hawai’i, Steve glanced at his phone, sitting beside his plate. A not-so-small part of him wants to pick it up, to make that call, to tell his best friend that he was sorry, that he was coming home. But he didn’t think he was ready yet. Steve left the islands to heal, to find the peace that he’d been without for ten years. To process everything that happened without the memories of it trying to overwhelm him, to drown him. He’d lost so many people that he loved, and almost lost even more.</p>
<p>And he wasn’t just trying to recover from the loss, he was trying to recover from the guilt. Even the people still alive, he almost lost them because of mistakes he made. Because he wasn’t fast enough, or smart enough, or strong enough. It had been getting bad for a long time, with everything that had happened. And then it all came to a head with Danny’s kidnapping. Seeing Danny tied up, beaten and bloody, and hearing that he was taken only to get to Steve…he was never going to live that down. He still sees it at night in his dreams, feels the terror and <em>pain</em> that shot through him seeing that. Danny almost died because of Steve, because of something Doris did. And Steve almost lost him. He almost had to say goodbye to the most important person in his life because he wasn’t fast enough. He was almost too late. And Danny was strong, stronger than most people gave him credit for, and he got himself out, but he almost bled out in Steve’s arms, shot for the second time in as many years. And that had really been the last straw. Seeing Danny almost die because of Steve, it had been the deciding factor. He’d been talking about walking away, taking a break from the taskforce and seeing the world they’d worked to save, and after everything was done, he knew he had to leave. He needed to find his peace of mind, heart, and soul. Then he could go home, and be the person everyone expected him to be.</p>
<p>And with that reaffirmed in Steve’s brain, he tore his gaze away from his phone, refusing to entertain the idea of calling Danny anymore. He needed to find his peace, and then he could be the friend Danny needed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Chin, I promise you I’m fine.” Danny repeated yet again, rubbing his face.</p>
<p>“You got hurt bad enough for Grace to call me, that doesn’t make me feel good Danny.” Chin’s voice crackled through the phone.</p>
<p>Danny groaned. Ever since Steve had left Danny had started talking to Chin and Kono more, not wanting to lose anymore of his ohana than he had to. They talked at least once a week now, sometimes even up to three or four times if it was a drama-packed week.</p>
<p>“You know you can’t lie to me.” Chin reminded him.</p>
<p>Danny groaned again. That was the unfortunate part of the fact that he’d gotten back in touch with Chin and Kono. Danny was now regularly talking to the only people who can read him like an open book, even if they can only hear his voice. And they weren’t taking his shit.</p>
<p>“Danny.” Chin pressed.</p>
<p>“Honestly Chin, I’ve been worse.” Danny sighed. “I’m not doing amazing, getting smacked around with a baseball bat certainly didn’t feel <em>good</em>, but I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“Yes because four broken ribs are perfectly fine because it’s not a bullet wound.” Chin’s voice was flat, obviously not believing Danny.</p>
<p>Danny took a deep breath, wincing as it stretched his ribs.</p>
<p>“I heard that.” Chin stated before Danny could start defending himself again.</p>
<p>Danny huffed. “Chin, we’ve all gone through shit because of this job. It’s just another round at the hospital, another incident in the file. Two weeks of limited movement and then I’ll be healed and back to work.”</p>
<p>“You told me you weren’t even going out into the field anymore.” Chin stated accusingly.</p>
<p>“Well we didn’t exactly expect the person we thought was just a witness to be the crazy guy beating people to death in the alleyways now did we.” Danny shot back. “We thought Tani and I were going to do an interview, not a takedown.”</p>
<p>The sigh he heard through the phone made it clear Chin was rolling his eyes.</p>
<p>“What do you want me to say Chin?” Danny whispered.</p>
<p>Chin was silent for a moment before he spoke, his voice soft. “I just want you to tell me that you’re taking care of yourself and not have it be a lie.”</p>
<p>“You’ve been talking to Lou.” Danny didn’t have to say it as a question, he knew it was true.</p>
<p>“He’s worried about you.” Chin told him. “He said after Steve left you had a rough time.”</p>
<p>“Well I got shot and instead of being with me, he took off to explore the world with his ex.” Danny shrugged. “How would you have felt?”</p>
<p>“You know he didn’t mean to hurt you.”</p>
<p>“Do I know that?” Danny asked. “Because as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t seem to care at all. All I’ve gotten in the six months since he left me on that beach is two text messages saying he made it to LA and then left again and five postcards from his globe trotting adventure. Those are the only reason I know he hasn’t died yet. Because he has not <em>talked</em> to me. He’s the one that said it wasn’t a forever goodbye. ‘<em>You got a phone right’ </em>Bastard.” Danny spat the words Steve had told him on that beach. He still heard them in his dreams.</p>
<p>Chin was silent for a moment, processing the amount of pain in Danny’s voice. “He’ll come back.” He finally whispered. “The island is his home.”</p>
<p>“Yea the home that he didn’t even want to come back to.” Danny rolled his eyes. “The home that led him from one loss to another. The home that doesn’t look or feel the same anymore.”</p>
<p>“No matter how far any of us go, that island is still our home.” Chin’s voice was soft but solid and sure. There was no doubt in his mind that even living so far away now, he’d always call it home.</p>
<p>Danny shook his head. “I wish I had your confidence Chin. Because I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.”</p>
<p>“Is that why you finally started the renovations?” Chin asked, humor back in his voice.</p>
<p>Danny chuckled. “You can’t tell me this place didn’t need them.” He looked around the living room, where he was propped up on the couch to watch TV. At it’s bones, it was still the place it had always been, the McGarrett house. But beyond the bones, it was entirely different. In a fit of rage after a case had gone bad, the suspect getting away long enough to kill five more people, Danny had put a chair through the wall of the kitchen. And instead of fixing it, he and Junior had simply decided to take the wall down. Now the floor plan was more open, with a large opening from the living room to the kitchen and dining room. And he’d gotten rid of all the old furniture, with their bullet holes and bloodstains. He’d taken Grace to the store when she visited on her Thanksgiving break and bought all new furniture for the living room, a new table and chairs for the dining room, and replaced the old stuff in the main bedroom. That had been the hardest place to change. The bedroom. He’d been sleeping there every night since Steve left, dreaming of the connection the bed gave them, no matter how small a bond it was. But, as Grace herself had pointed out, the change would be good for Danny. It would give him a fresh start. An opportunity to move on from what was, or what could have been.</p>
<p>“I don’t think Steve ever changed anything.” Chin agreed, breaking Danny back out of his thoughts. “It was probably high time for that change.”</p>
<p>“Grace has certainly enjoyed it.” Danny smiled, thinking of his daughter. She’d had a great time picking all the furniture, and helping him pick all the paint over FaceTime when he’d originally decided to start redoing things a month ago.</p>
<p>“And how does it feel?” Chin asked. “Changing Steve’s house?”</p>
<p>Danny bit his lower lip, thinking about it. “Odd. But I think it’s helping.”</p>
<p>“Helping you recover?”</p>
<p>“Helping me face the fact that he may not be coming back.”</p>
<p>Chin hummed.</p>
<p>Danny took it as the sign to continue that it was. “I kept this place intact, like a shrine to him the same way he kept it as a shrine to his father. It needed to change, so that I could move on. So I could get over him.”</p>
<p>Chin was silent for a moment. “So, you realized then? I mean I’ve heard your voicemail when I call you at a bad time, but I didn’t think you’d actually realized it for real.”</p>
<p>“I realized the day I realized I was willing to die to protect him.” Danny told him. There was no need for him to say the words, they both knew what was happening. What Danny was admitting. What his voicemail declared to anyone who cared to listen. “I told him not to give in to her demands. I knew what that would mean for me when I said it.”</p>
<p>“I’m happy for you.” Chin told him. “I know how hard it’s been for you lately. And I’m glad you’re making progress for yourself Danny. Moving forward instead of standing still.”</p>
<p>Danny smiled fondly, picturing the soft look on Chin’s face as he spoke. “Thanks Chin.”</p>
<p>“For?”</p>
<p>“Being there when I need someone to convince me I’m not a complete mess.”</p>
<p>Chin laughed. “We both followed Steve McGarrett for years. That doesn’t make us smart men Danny. But it does make us lucky ones.”</p>
<p>Danny chuckled. “Yea. I suppose you’re right.”</p>
<p>“I know I am.”</p>
<p>“You’re coming back for Christmas right? And bringing the family?” Danny knew the answer, but he wanted the reassurement.</p>
<p>“Absolutely.” Chin agreed. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Danny nodded to himself. “Kono’s agreed to come as well, so we’ll finally all be together again.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to meet these new kids you keep talking about.” Chin told him. “They sound like a great time.”</p>
<p>“Oh they are certainly a time.” Danny sighed. “Steve’s picks always are.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Steve looked around, taking in the sights and sounds that surrounded him. It had been almost a year since he left Hawai’i and he’d finally taken Danny up on the dare he’d made so many years ago. He was in New Jersey. He’d been in New Zealand last week, and Australia the week before that, experiencing nature and the world outside of cities, but that had made him miss the islands even more, with their hiking paths, state parks, and experiences to find. But he didn’t think he was ready for that yet, so he went somewhere he’d been avoiding instead. He wasn’t going to visit Danny’s family, he knew he hadn’t been keeping in touch well and wasn’t even sure he’d be welcomed there anymore, but he wanted to see where he was from at least.</p>
<p>Danny always said he should go to New Jersey, and see why Danny loves it, in order to understand why he hated moving to Hawai’i when he did. And being here now, seeing this place that meant so much to Danny, he could understand why. There was so much <em>happening</em>. Ever since he’d landed, it hasn’t been quiet. There’s traffic and horns and people <em>everywhere</em>. No wonder Danny needed the TV on to sleep when he was first staying with Steve, he was used to the noise and the chaos of this place.</p>
<p>But now that Steve was here, now that he’d gone to the diners Danny had always said had the best food in the world, whether it was pizza, a club sandwich, or burgers, it all made him miss home even more. It made him miss Danny even more. Today he’d decided to go to the boardwalk, the site of so many stories Danny had told him about his younger years. The man had gotten into so much trouble, and had so much fun, and Steve felt just that little bit closer to him, seeing this place.</p>
<p>Steve sighed, looking down at his hands where he was leaning on the railing, looking out across the people and their joy. He couldn’t decide if coming here was a good idea or not, with all the memories of Danny it brought back to the front of his mind. All the smiles, laughs, and joy the man had brought into Steve’s life since they’d met in his dad’s garage all those years ago. Since Steve had basically kidnapped him onto his team as Danny liked to describe it. They’d had some awful moments, times Steve still saw in his nightmares, moments filled with blood and pain and loss, but they had some great moments as well. And Steve was starting to realize that he couldn’t keep running from the bad because they were so entwined with the good that he was leaving them behind as well.</p>
<p>On impulse, Steve pulled his phone out, swiping it open to the last text he’d received. It was from Chin, the only person who had continued sending him messages despite the fact that he didn’t often know how to respond. He was eternally grateful for it, whatever reason Chin was doing it for, because those messages kept him up to date on what was happening on the island, specifically how Danny was doing. In the first three months, Chin had texted him once a week, giving him an update on how Danny was healing, how he was handling Steve leaving, and how the team was. Steve wasn’t sure how Chin knew all of it, being in San Francisco still, but Steve wasn’t going to be unhappy about it.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Have you found what you were looking for? Do you think you ever will?’</em>
</p>
<p>Steve stared at the message. He never knew how Chin was so observant, especially not seeing him face to face in years, but it had hit home harder than Steve wanted to admit. He’d left the island, and all his friends, trying to recover from his past and find his peace. But after almost a year, Steve was starting to fear he’d made a mistake.</p>
<p>“Cassandra don’t put cotton candy in your brother’s hair.”</p>
<p>Steve’s head shot up, turning to look over his shoulder at the voice so close to him. It was a family, three adults, a couple teenagers, and three kids, all with food or drinks in hand. The one who’d spoken was a man, shaking his head and hiding a fond smile as he looked at the kids. He was hand in hand with another man, who looked just as fond as the one who’d spoke.</p>
<p>“He deserves it Dad!” The girl, Cassandra, defended herself. “He’s the one who stole my ice cream earlier.”</p>
<p>“And he lost TV for a week because of that.” The second man reminded her. “So you do not need to be exacting your own punishment on him.”</p>
<p>Cassandra sighed. “Sorry Papa.”</p>
<p>“Let’s just get to the Ferris wheel.” The woman with them laughed. “And then we can all split off and play games and meet back up for dinner later.”</p>
<p>“Okay Aunt Diana.” Susan said, the other kids nodding beside her.</p>
<p>“Come on!” One of the other kids exclaimed. “I wanna go!”</p>
<p>“Go get in line with your aunt then, Damien.” The first man rolled his eyes. “We’ll be right behind you.”</p>
<p>“Oh of course Bruce send them off with me.” Laura rolled her eyes, hurrying to keep up with the kids.</p>
<p>“Do we have to go?” One of the two teenagers sighed.</p>
<p>“Yes Jason, you and Dick need to go along.” The second man told them. “You know how important being all together is, at least for the beginning of today.”</p>
<p>Jason sighed. “Okay Clark.”</p>
<p>The two teenagers turned, heading after their under siblings and aunt. Then Bruce turned to Clark, sighing loudly.</p>
<p>“Why’d we have so many kids?”</p>
<p>“Because neither of us had any siblings and we wanted our kids to be happy.” Clark shrugged. “And they are happy, you know that.”</p>
<p>Bruce smiled, looking after his family. “Yea. And we deserve it, don’t we?”</p>
<p>“After everything we did to help people?” Clark asked. “Absolutely.”</p>
<p>Steve watched the two men walk away, following the rest of their family towards the Ferris wheel. He sighed, tearing his eyes away as they stepped back into the crowd. He knew now that a family is what he wanted, what he’s always wanted, but never thought he could have. And seeing that, a happy family of people visibly unrelated but still tied together, that made his heart ache all the more.</p>
<p>Before Steve could stop the impulse, he had his phone in his hand, and was dialing a number he hadn’t even allowed himself to look at in months. He put it to his ear, hand shaking, not knowing whether he wanted it to be answered or not.</p>
<p>He heard three rings, waiting anxiously for anything, and then he heard a click and a familiar voice through the tiny speaker.</p>
<p>
  <em>“If you’re calling about the car, I sold it. If this is Tuesday night, I’m at the range. If you’re trying to sell something, you’re wasting your time because I’m not buying. Anyone else, sorry I missed you. Wait for the tone, you know what to do. Oh, and if this is the idiot who left me, I still love you.”</em>
</p>
<p>Steve’s chest tightened, his heart skipped, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He hung up quickly, having no idea how to leave a message in response to that. He was suddenly back on the beach, hugging Danny goodbye, without any idea of when he would see him again. He was in shock, hearing those words. They sounded the same as always, and yet so much different. They had a weight to them Steve had never recognized before. He couldn’t believe what he heard, after this long. He would call again, and hope.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How do you want to handle this boss?” Tani asked, putting her vest on.</p>
<p>“Tani, I have asked you not to call me that.” Danny sighed.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” Tani winced. She still struggled to control that instinct, but she worked at it because she knew how much it hurt Danny to feel like he was replacing Steve.</p>
<p>“What’s the plan?” Junior repeated, refocusing them back on the current situation.</p>
<p>“Lincoln’s going to lead an assault on the front of the house.” Danny declared. He still didn’t like getting involved with field work, preferring the research side of the taskforce now, but he knew how to delegate at a scene when he needed to. “Junior, I want you and Quinn at the back, head off anyone who tries to escape that way. Tani and Adam, you’re with Lincoln. Lou, coordinate with SWAT to get a perimeter set up and get teams assigned to front and back as well. We go in ten minutes.”</p>
<p>Everyone nodded, taking their orders and getting to work. Danny took a deep breath, rubbing a hand down his face. It was Tuesday, so tonight he was supposed to have dinner with Junior and then go to the range with Lou, keeping their skills sharp, but he didn’t think that would be happening this week. He was going to be exhausted after dealing with this. Their suspect in the bombs, horribly made bombs but bombs nonetheless, was holed up inside his house, demanding negotiation, but they didn’t have time for that. They were going in, they were putting an end to this, and then Danny was going home.</p>
<p>His phone started ringing, and he dug it out of his pocket in case it was someone important, but he was confused to see the ‘Blocked Number’ caller ID. Not many people had this number, even fewer that he didn’t also have programmed into the phone. Normally he would answer and see what was up, but he didn’t have time for that now. Instead he muted it, and put the phone back in his pocket. If it was important, they would either leave a message or call again some other time and Danny could interrogate them then. Of course until then he was just going to worry, seeing as the last blocked number to call him was Steve on one of his missions for the government that he didn’t want to think about. He just hoped it wasn’t a notification, telling him Steve went back to that after everything was said and done and finally ran out of luck.</p>
<p>But for now, Danny didn’t have time to worry or be sad about missing Steve. He had a team to run and an island to keep safe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few days later, Steve was sitting in a park in Hoboken, people watching as he always did when he was in the cities of the world. Everywhere he looked, there were people with their loved ones. They were with their parents, their siblings, their kids, their spouses, their families loud and happy to be with one another. It made Steve’s heart ache, wishing that it was him. And wasn’t that just the kicker. He’d spent a year trying to find peace, and all he managed to do was learn just how much he was able to miss his family, the people he loved most in the world.</p>
<p>He looked down, at the phone he was playing with in his hands. He’d gotten in just after leaving Hawai’i, wanting something with a better camera to take pictures of the places he visited. And it was full of pictures because every time he went somewhere all he could think about was wanting to share it with the people he loved. Specifically, one person that he loved.</p>
<p>Thinking about Danny had gotten more and more difficult ever since he came to New Jersey. He normally thought of Danny quite often on his travels, but being here, where the other man was from, <em>everything</em> he did made him think of Danny. He could see him everywhere, in the noise and the chaos and the smells, but he also heard him in the voices of everyone around him, the accent, the diction, and the passion. And yet he hadn’t built up the courage to try and call him again. He kept hearing his voice, the sad voice from the beach and the broken voice from the voicemail he’d heard, repeating the same words again and again.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I love you.” “I still love you.”</em>
</p>
<p>Steve groaned, rubbing a hand down his face. He needed to just bite the bullet. He was a Navy SEAL, he’d faced down terrorists and death, he could do this.</p>
<p>Before he could second guess himself, he pulled up the number he’d avoided for so long, determined to say at least <em>something</em> this time if he didn’t get an answer. He pressed call, and raised the phone shakily to his ear, taking a deep breath to try and steady himself.</p>
<p>He didn’t know if luck was with him or not though, because just like last time he heard three rings and a click, followed by that all too familiar voice.</p>
<p>
  <em>“If it’s Friday night, I’m at the ball game. And first thing Saturday, if it doesn’t rain, I’m headed out to the deep waters and I’ll be gone all weekend. But leave me a message and I’ll call you back when we get back on Sunday night. Oh, and if this is the idiot who left me, don’t worry, I still love you.”</em>
</p>
<p>Steve took a deep, rattling breath to focus on hearing those words again. Had Danny been putting this in his voicemails this entire time? But he didn’t have time to think about that right now, he had to say something. Instinct took over in his panic, and all he managed to get out was the digits of his new number, shaky and rough, before he hung up in fear. He’d done it. He said something, he initiated contact. And knowing Danny, he would call him back, as the message suggested, once he heard the message. He had twenty-four hours to figure out what he was going to say when he called. Because he needed to say something. He needed to beg forgiveness, or apologize, or admit to everything he’s felt bubbling up inside him for the last year. Maybe all of the above. And he needed to book a flight, because no matter what happened when he talked to Danny tomorrow, he was going home. It was time for him to stop running from his emotions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Danny groaned, lowering himself onto the couch with a wince. He loved fishing, he actually did even though he’d hated it the first time he went with Steve, but he never liked the soreness afterwards from the work of hauling whatever they caught onto the pier when they got back. And he, Lou, and Mamo tried to go fishing once a month or so, taking the time away from their responsibilities to just exist and enjoy the ocean. If you’d told Danny ten years ago that he would spend the weekend on the ocean, sleeping on a bunk in a boat, he would have called you crazy. But here he was, looking forward to their trips each time. They’d started after Steve left, and Danny knew it was originally to distract him from that, but he was enjoying it just the same.</p>
<p>He pulled out his phone, taking a look at the notifications he had after being out of range for so long. He had a couple voicemails to listen to, so he went to those first. He hated emails on his phone, even after getting better at typing on the touch screen, so he’d avoid those until he got up to get his laptop.</p>
<p>The first two voicemails were boring, a salesperson trying to sell him something and Rachel reminding him about Charlie’s doctor’s appointment that week, as if he would forget. But the third one was interesting, and worrying if he has honest. It was a man’s voice, Danny could tell that much, but all he said was a number. It was from a blocked number, Danny assumed the same one that had called him on Tuesday, so that meant he could call him back now, but it worried Danny. The voice was rough, and sounded like something was <em>wrong</em> and that only made him scared to know what was going on. The only blocked numbers that ever called him were Steve or Catherine in the Navy, or their superiors telling him that they’d been injured. He didn’t want to get a notification about Steve today, he wasn’t emotionally ready for that, and he didn’t think he’d ever be.</p>
<p>But steeling himself for whatever was about to happen, he dialed the number stated in the message, and put his phone to his ear. He heard it ring three times, and then there was silence on the other end.</p>
<p>“Hello?” He asked. “Are you there?”</p>
<p>A deep breath, and sigh, and then a voice came through the phone. A very familiar voice, even with the rough edge it had. “If you’re calling about my heart, it’s still yours. I should have listened to it more, and it wouldn’t have taken me so long to see that the peace I needed was right there in front of me, sitting on that beach. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long, to know right where I belong.”</p>
<p>Danny’s breath rattled, tears welling up in his eyes. “S-Steve?”</p>
<p>“Hey Danno.” Steve responded. “I heard your message.”</p>
<p>“And you aren’t mad?” Danny whispered, not believing what he was hearing.</p>
<p>“How could I possibly be mad that the person who owns every part of my heart loves me back?” Steve’s voice was just as soft as Danny’s. They both knew how important this moment was for them, and their futures. “Because I <em>love</em> you Danny Williams, I just never realized how much until I left you.”</p>
<p>Danny took a deep breath, keeping himself and his emotions under control. “Steven McGarrett, if you’re going to start saying these things to me you had better be on the first plane home from wherever you are now because I am <em>not</em> doing this over the phone.”</p>
<p>“I have a plane ticket for tomorrow morning.” Steve promised him.</p>
<p>“Then you <em>come home</em>, and I mean it.” Danny told him. “And you call me when you land.”</p>
<p>“I promise.” Steve agreed. “I’m coming home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Danny stood on the beach, staring at out at the ocean. Steve’s plane had landed at the airport almost an hour ago, and every second that went by he knew Steve was getting closer to home. After finally talking again, they’d both decided that they didn’t want to have this reunion in the airport arrivals terminal. They wanted to see each other again at home, where it all began. But that didn’t make it any easier to be the one standing here, waiting. It was overwhelming, but it was hopefully going to be worth it in the end.</p>
<p>He heard the sound of a car, and then doors opening and shutting, and he tensed up. He refused to turn around, refused to seem too overeager with what was about to happen.</p>
<p>The sound of the back door sounded like a gunshot in the silence, cutting through the sound of the waves and the wind with ease. Then there were soft footsteps, of someone obviously trying to make noise as he approached, and then a voice. The voice he’d heard in his dreams and his imagination but not in person, not in the last year.</p>
<p>“Danno.” Steve’s voice cracked. “You’re here.”</p>
<p>Danny turned, smiling at Steve. “Did you expect me to run away?”</p>
<p>Steve shrugged, not looking at Danny, instead looking at the sand beneath their feet. “I’m not exactly the catch of the century.”</p>
<p>With a shake of his head, Danny stepped forward, putting himself in reach of Steve. “You’re the only catch I’ve wanted.”</p>
<p>Steve looked up, staring into Danny’s eyes. “Do you really-?”</p>
<p>“Do I really what?” Danny asked. “Do I really love you? Have I loved you for years, longer than I think anyone else would believe? Has it been there for so long I didn’t even realize it was there because it was just part of my relationship with you? Yes.” Danny shrugged. “I stopped denying it the day I realized I would happily die to keep you safe.”</p>
<p>Steve gasped in a way that made it clear he couldn’t believe that Danny was so open in his emotions. “You really?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Danny smiled fondly. “I really do.”</p>
<p>“I love you.” Steve told him, voice soft and full of awe. He was staring at Danny, unable to believe what he was hearing. He’d never believed that Danny could love him back, in the same way that he’d come to realize he loved Danny. “I never realized how much you meant to me, and even when-when <em>she</em> took you, I didn’t realize what it meant that I could barely breathe. Until you were back in my arms, and then the doctors told us that you were going to make it…I don’t know that I was breathing at all. It felt like iron bars wrapped around my ribs, constraining me and slowly killing me. If you hadn’t made it…well I don’t know that I would have made it out either.”</p>
<p>Danny raised a hand, pressing it against Steve’s cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the tear that had escape the former SEAL’s eye. “And then you panicked, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>Steve blushed, lowering his eyes but not moving his head so he didn’t risk dislodging the warmth of Danny’s hand. “I was terrified and all I knew was that I wanted some peace of mind. I should have realized that would be here with you.”</p>
<p>“I forgive you.” Danny assured him with a fond chuckle. “On one condition though.”</p>
<p>“Anything.” Steve breathed. He had walked the world already, and fought the worst of the worst, he’d do anything for Danny.</p>
<p>Danny smiled. “Kiss me you idiot. And then never leave my side again.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Steve whispered. “Absolutely yes.”</p>
<p>They came together, their orbits finally colliding after so long pushing and pulling. Danny’s hand slipped from Steve’s face to the back of his neck, while his other one found Steve’s shoulder. Steve’s hands found Danny’s waist, supporting his weight as they came together, finding warmth and an response to the love they poured forth. After what was only a minute but felt like an eternity, they separated, staying wrapped in each other’s arms.</p>
<p>“I love you, my favorite idiot.” Danny whispered.</p>
<p>Steve laughed, pressing his forehead against Danny’s. “I love you too. So, so much.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Y'all's comments on this made me cry so as a thank you, have some more about Steve's reaction to the house.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took about an hour, sitting in their chairs on the beach, talking about all the places Steve went on his year-long escape, before the conversation finally turned to Danny.</p><p>“So now that you know everywhere I’ve been this last year…”</p><p>“Yea including that you went to New Jersey without me.” Danny teased, rolling his eyes.</p><p>“I promise you can take me back one day and show me everything I missed.” Steve assured him.</p><p>“Including my family.”</p><p>“Of course.” Steve promised.</p><p>“And we won’t tell them you were there without visiting them. They’ll think you’re mad at them if we do.”</p><p>Steve nodded. “Sounds like a plan. But you’re avoiding this.”</p><p>Danny sighed, knowing he’d been caught. “Alright, ask what you’re going to?”</p><p>“How’d the physical therapy go? What’s the long-term damage?”</p><p>“Well my future as a human barometer is definitely on it’s way to fruition.” Danny told him. “I have as much mobility as I did before I got shot, it just aches a little more when a storm’s coming in. And before you ask, no I haven’t gotten hurt since. I lead the team, and give them their orders, but I don’t go out into the field anymore. The kids have all that easily, and Tani and Junior are well on their way to learning the ropes of the office stuff to.”</p><p>“So you’re-”</p><p>“Headed out the door? Retiring?” Danny asked. “Yes. I told you years ago, if you’re out, then I’m out. And you made it pretty clear you wanted to be out. So once I get them all ready, I’m leaving them. I’ll still be a consultant for them, for the rough cases, but other than that I’ll just be like any other retired guy on the islands.”</p><p>“And me?”</p><p>“What about you?” Danny tilted his head in confusion. Steve looked scared to hear the answer, but Danny really didn’t understand the question.</p><p>“Where do I fit in to your retirement plans?” Steve asked quietly.</p><p>Danny smiled fondly, reaching out to grab Steve’s hand again. “Steve, I am not planning on moving out of that bed I so carefully picked. And I’m pretty sure that kiss earlier means you would be happy to join me. But once I have you, in my life the way I’ve dreamed, I’m not letting you leave again. So this is your choice. Do you <em>want</em> to be a part of my life after retirement?”</p><p>Steve blushed, looking away from Danny’s intense stare. “I thought I made that pretty clear with the restaurant. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t think I’d survive it.”</p><p>“Well that’s that then.” Danny smiled.</p><p>“Wait.” Steve suddenly processed Danny’s words. “Did you replace my bed?”</p><p>“I did more than that.” Danny laughed.</p><p>“Wait what?”</p><p>“Have you been inside yet Steve?” Danny asked, a grin playing across his lips.</p><p>“Uh no?” Steve rubbed the back of his neck, obviously a little embarrassed. “Junior said you’d be on the beach, so I just went around the side of the house and came out here. He didn’t argue with me, just laughed and drove off. He said he'll be back early for the dinner with Eddie so I can see him before all the others get here. Thanks for thinking about not having him here by the way, I love him, and I've missed him so damn much, but I don't think he'd have let us sit here and talk this much.”</p><p>Danny laughed, knowing it was true. And he grinned, thinking of what was going to happen next if Steve hadn't seen the house yet. He let go of Steve’s hand to push himself to his feet, and then holding his hand out again to Steve. “Come on then SuperSEAL. Let me show you what I’ve spent your eat, pray, love year doing.”</p><p>Steve stood up, taking Danny’s hand again and letting the shorter man tug him towards the house. He could already see differences, with new furniture on the lanai, but he had a feeling that was going to be the least of the changes. And as they pushed open the door and walked inside, he saw that he was right.</p><p>The first thing he noticed was that he could see the living room, and the front door, from the doorway to the back of the house. The wall that used to be there was gone, and in it’s place now stood a large opening, brightening the entire main area of the house.</p><p>“Holy shit.” Steve gasped.</p><p>The paint Grace had helped him choose was a soft, light gray, which at first he thought would be too boring but it really lightened the place up. And it was an excellent background for all the photos Danny had hung up around the place. One wall was entirely photos, arranged by Danny with help over FaceTime from Grace, Kono, and even Rachel. There were photos from the original team, back when the task force first started, grins on with their arms around each other. There were photos of Danny with Grace through the years, and just as many with Charlie through his significantly shorter amount of time. There were photos with the team, in all it’s iterations, with all the people they’d made friends with in the last ten years. From Kawika and the Kapu, to Lori and Jenna, and all the way through to the team now, with the kids grinning from a photo of the whole current team together, about a week before everything with Daiyu Mei started up. Kamekona, Eddie, Noelani, the NCIS team, and all the friends they’d made all had their appearances. It was a wall that radiated happiness, showing anyone who looked at it just what they’d been fighting for in the last decade. And of course all the furniture had been updated, giving the place a comfortable feel without looking like it was still stuck in John McGarrett’s time.</p><p>“What do you think?” Danny asked. He was more than a little nervous about how Steve would feel about it all, but he didn’t regret what he’d done.</p><p>“I didn’t know this place could look this good.” Steve told him, staring in awe at the place as he walked around slowly.</p><p>“So you like it then?” Danny wanted a confirmation, to soothe the anxiety in his heart.</p><p>Steve turned to him, a grin on his face. “I think it’s amazing.” He assured Danny. “I only wish I’d been here to help you.”</p><p>Danny shrugged. “Junior and the kids helped with the easy stuff and one of Chin’s cousins is a contractor so he helped with the stuff like the structural opening and all that.”</p><p>“And you designed it all?”</p><p>“With Grace’s help for a lot of it.” Danny admitted. “She takes after her mom with her sense of interior design. And I’m not ashamed to admit that Kono, Tani, and even Rachel helped with some decisions. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t about to mess it up.”</p><p>“You did an amazing job.” Steve told him, turning to pull Danny in for a hug. “Although…”</p><p>“Yea?” Danny prompted.</p><p>“Why now?”</p><p>Danny sighed, pulling out of Steve’s arms to gesture around the space. “Steve, this place has seen some shit over the years. Your dad was killed here, you were betrayed by Nick here, your mother hid her entire past under the floorboards of this house. Then you broke my heart and left me, and Junior, alone here, in what amounted to a shrine to your dad and your pain. So I did what any jilted lover would do and renovated your house and brought it kicking and screaming into this decade. Because honestly, it was depressing to see all the memories of that pain around this place.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Steve sighed, pulling Danny in for a soft, gentle kiss. When they pulled apart, Steve pressed his forehead to Danny’s, reveling in his presence. “I mean it Danny, I love what you’ve done. And you better let me pay you back for at least part of this, it couldn’t have been cheap.”</p><p>Danny laughed. “You won’t let me say no, will you?”</p><p>“Nope.” Steve grinned.</p><p>Danny shook his head, sighing fondly. He knew he wasn’t going to win that argument. “Okay. But did you want to see what I did to your bedroom?”</p><p>Steve froze.</p><p>“Not like that dufus.” Danny rolled his eyes. “I changed just as much upstairs as I did down here. Do you want to see it?”</p><p>“Sounds good.” Steve smiled. Danny didn’t mess the way Steve’s shoulders relaxed to hear he wasn’t being propositioned.</p><p>Danny led the way to the staircase, giving Steve a moment of peace before asking, “So are we going to talk about the fear in your eyes when you thought I was asking you to bed?”</p><p>Steve made a small choking sound. “I-I-”</p><p>“You know I’m not going to judge you.” Danny reminded him as they got to the top of the stairs. “So let me know when you want to talk about what caused that and in the meantime…” Danny pushed open the door to the main bedroom, where he’d been sleeping for the last year.</p><p>The walls were newly painted as well, this time a soft blue that relaxed him, and the bed a lovely walnut frame with a new, perfectly soft and firm mattress, and a neutral charcoal duvet. It was comfortable, clearly lived in with Danny’s belongs on the matching walnut sidetables and dresser, but a beautifully put together room.</p><p>“Wow.” Steve gasped. “You actually made this room look amazing.”</p><p>Danny laughed. “It was pretty easy once I got rid of your old bed.”</p><p>“What’d you do with all the furniture anyways?”</p><p>“Sold most of it.” Danny shrugged. “Or donated it. Your old dresser and nightstand were still in good condition so Kawika found a family who’s son was revamping his room from kid to teenager and could put them to good use.”</p><p>Steve smiled. “I like that idea. Some new happiness for the stuff, away from everything that happened here.”</p><p>“It all went to good people, we made sure of it.” Danny assured him. “I kept some stuff, the stuff I knew was important to you, but I got rid of the rest, along with their memories. I needed a fresh start and Junior and I both assumed you needed one to.”</p><p>Steve nodded, looking around the room with a fond little smile. “That’s why I won’t go to bed with you.” He finally whispered.</p><p>“What is?” Danny prodded.</p><p>“I’ve rushed into everything.” Steve pointed out. “Every relationship I’ve ever been, I threw myself headfirst into. And they all ended badly. Catherine walked out on me, Lynn and I were never on the same page, and everyone else I’ve ever been with didn’t actually want anything other than my body. And-and I want this to be different. I-I want <em>us</em> to be different.”</p><p>Danny smiled, melting a little inside. “Steve, I don’t care if we never share our bed like that. Just having you with me, and I will not deny I do require some night cuddles, that will be more than enough for me. It’ll be more than I ever dreamed of getting with you.”</p><p>Steve stepped back to Danny, pulling the other man into another tight hug. “Thank you.” He whispered. “<em>Thank you</em>.”</p><p>Danny held onto Steve tight, giving him all the comfort he could. He had a feel when he saw Steve’s reaction that it was because of fear, he just didn’t realize it was fear of losing Danny.</p><p>“I am never walking away from you.” Danny whispered back to Steve. “Not now that I finally know I can have this.”</p><p>They stood there for a long moment, reveling in each other’s presence, before Steve pulled back.</p><p>“So are there any other surprises I should know about?” He asked, ignoring the tears in his eyes. “Or do I just get to find them myself?”</p><p>Danny chuckled. “Not much. We redid the other two rooms as well, and cleaned out the garage of all the trash your dad left. And don’t worry, all his case files are still here, they’re just neatly packed away in boxes instead of all over the garage.”</p><p>“And the Marquis?”</p><p>“In the garage just like you left it.” Danny rolled his eyes. “I know how much it means to you, even if I think you need an actual mechanic to work on the thing.”</p><p>“Thank you Danny.” Steve’s voice was heartfelt, and his eyes tear-filled. “Seriously. Thank you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” Danny smiled. “Now we should really figure out what we’re telling the team seeing as they’re all coming home for dinner tonight.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“Us?” Danny questioned. “You know they’re going to ask seeing as Junior left us alone on purpose for our reunion.”</p><p>Steve shrugged. “We’re partners, the same as we’ve always been. Now we just both realize what it actually means.”</p><p>Danny grinned, warmth flooding him as he heard Steve speak. “That sounds perfect.”</p><p>“Good.” Steve smiled. “Now I may not want to take you to bed, but would you mind if I still kiss you?”</p><p>“I’d honestly be pretty mad if you didn’t.” Danny laughed.</p><p>Steve, finally listen to his heart, grabbed Danny around the waist, pulling him close, and pouring all the love he had, everything he’d come to realize while he was gone, out into the kiss. It wasn’t their first kiss, having had them on the beach and downstairs, but this is the one that felt like the beginning. The beginning to the rest of their lives, and the beginning to their happiness together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Send me drabble or fic prompts on <a href="https://angelwithwingsoffire.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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